It’s a typical story, really. Girl grows up fat, girl goes on many, many diets, girl fails, girl decides to get cut open and have her guts swirled around. Girl shrinks. And shrinks.

05/20/07 - 314 pounds

I had a RNY on May 21, 2007. I weighed 314 pounds. I was 21 years old then, and spilling out of my size 28 pants. I was headed towards a world of trouble (diabetes runs rampant in my family) and “misery” pretty much sums up how I felt about, well, everything. I just wanted to be “normal”. To not have to worry, obsessively, if I was going to become diabetic or develop sleep apnea: it was only a matter of time. And, yeah, I was 21. I wanted to shop in “normal person stores”. To feel thin, for the first time in my life.

Don't worry, it's not a real cupcake.

 And now? I’m a size four and life is perfect. Ha! Right. I’ve lost 186lbs and counting, which puts me at about 120 pounds when the scale is nice to me. Life is not fistfuls of roses and diamonds. Really, I’m kind of a mess. I’m health-problem-free for the most part, but the whole “suddenly not fat” thing has really scrambled my brains. I’ve found myself sort of wandering around in this New World, trying to get used to being someone else.

But, you know, life isn’t always so serious. I’m 23, not 90. I like to read and watch movies and good TV. I’m obsessed with a good iced latte. I’m loud and sassy and sweet as pie until you cross me (think Bree Hodge). I still lick the knife. I’m a college student who, really, has no idea what she wants to Do With Her Life. I like making pretty things and thinking about food/buying things with food printed on it, especially foods I can’t have anymore, like cupcakes. Cupcakes are darling. Yes they are.

E-mail: gutsinarut@gmail.com – I don’t bite. =)


7 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Jennifer  |  October 22, 2008 at 1:01 am

    This is going to seem a little pathetic. But I just found your blog and would like to read more of them. I can only read Sept. and Oct. Which was great…..in a “I can’t believe I am reading someone’s blog way.” Are there more archives?

    Thank you!

  • 2. Griffin H. Bat  |  October 22, 2008 at 1:16 am

    Jen, I’m so glad you found my blog! I don’t have any other archives here, because I only recently started a public blog. But! You can read a handful of old entries from 2007 on my OH profile page by clicking here!
    Blogs are fun stuff. Keep reading! ❤


  • 3. Megan  |  November 12, 2008 at 9:04 pm

    Its so weird to me to see your writing and its basically the conversations that have gone on in my head…..if that makes any sense. I have been putting things off and “waiting” til i became skinny to do things. I just had the realize band on oct 21st and things are different already with the 21lbs gone. I also only told select ppl because i saw what happened to a coworker when she had wls and i didnt want to be talked about that way. First it was she was too fat, then it became shes too thin……its just so annoying to hear….ok enough rambing just keep writing please!

  • 4. girlslashwoman  |  December 23, 2008 at 2:20 am

    I agree with Jen.
    I’m enchanted by your blog. Thanks for the link.
    I’ll be here for the rest of the night. A cupcake would def come in handy around now.

    • 5. Griffin H. Bat  |  December 23, 2008 at 11:39 pm

      Enchanted? Make me blush! Heh. I’m glad you found me! I could always use a cupcake.

  • 6. Shira  |  May 31, 2009 at 8:53 pm

    Hey Griffin,

    My friend forwarded me your blog, and we pretty much have quite a bit in common, nice to see someone go through the same stuff, WLS-wiss.

    Also – I photograph cotillions with my Dad. I almost died when I saw you did weddings. I’m like “are you my twin?”

    You’re writing is refreshing and expressive, and I enjoy reading your entries.

    • 7. Griffin H. Bat  |  June 2, 2009 at 9:33 pm

      @Shira: I’m so glad you found me! You really do sound like my twin! I’m always happy to know someone who “gets” the whole WLS thing. Ohhh now I’m going to read your blog. =)


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