Archive for July, 2009

I hate to admit this, but…

I’ve been watching a lot of MTV. Specifically, shows on MTV about really young chicks popping out kids. Why? I have no idea. I hate kids. Wait, back that up. I hate the thought of having my own. So there.

But anyway, I was watching this True Life about young moms having twins, and then one of them did something that made my jaw drop.

She said she had a craving. For chalk. See, I thought she said “chocolate” and I was all like, Hey, we’re women, we ALL crave chocolate! I’m having some right now! But then she opens a bedside drawer and produces a fresh box of delicious(?) Crayola chalk. And eats it like it’s a peppermint.


Pregnant people crave chalk? And it doesn’t poison you? This just goes to show you that I know nothing about life, and kids, and growing up, and the weird ways that your body can make you do really fucked-up stuff. This just disturbs me on a weird level. I know, it’s like a deficiency where you crave weird shit like dirt…but…still. Chalk.


July 31, 2009 at 9:07 pm 2 comments

The ways of education…

I’ve decided that I’m still learning. You would think that 2 years post-RNY, I would know my limits, know every little thing that would set me off or make me want to hurl or lie down or burst into epileptic sweat sessions. But no. I have decided that I will never know better. My little brain will always be plotting against me.

Why is that, you ask? Well. Sometimes I can eat a few spoonfuls of ice cream and just be peachy-keen. Then, like today for instance, I will eat something called a “flying disc” which is nothing more than cinnamon, dough, and sugar, and I will be sick. 50/50, my stomach is a rebellious teenager that either will or won’t cooperate.

And all that “I’m a perfect patient, I’ll NEVER touch sugar again, by God!” is a bunch of bull. Everyone wants to be normal again. I know it’s all moderation. But I’m still learning. As a result, I feel like crap today. Ohhh to be one of those people that learns from their mistakes. What’s that like?

Well, all I am sure of is that school is starting soon…I’m getting to that point in my college career that I need to declare a major, and, you know, stickwith it. Heh. SO. I’m going to be a librarian! Why not? I read more books in a couple of months than do most people in their lifetime. (Ok, this is probably not true, but I live in AL so it’s not ENTIRELY out of the range of possibility.)

So what this means…is I can essentially get any undergrad degree I want. Then go to grad school. So I guess English. My only problem with that is that…well. I hate English professors. I really do. It’s either “their way or the highway” and they all are so ego maniacal in their teachings…that if you’re not necessarily wrong, just because you don’t write like THEY do, you’re fucked. Huh. I need to overcome this.

But I am kind of looking forward to school this year, because I’m going to a private school that is the best in the city…I am SO over state schools. Even though this one will probably send me into spirals of debt, whatever. It’s better than the other schools. Pretty campus. Better (ie not-so-bitter-inner-city) professors. Better curriculum. I’m looking forward to it.

July 31, 2009 at 6:06 pm Leave a comment

Fireworks. Seriously?

For some reason, every weekend since the 4th of this month, some idiot around me has decided that they will shoot off fireworks every weekend.

Pop, pop, pop. It drives me insane, it makes my dog bark and puke because holy shit the sky is falling! Seriously. What makes people think this is OK? Two or three days a year is more than enough to set things on fire and make them go boom.

Maybe I’m a bitch. But I hate fireworks. Even sparklers scare the crap out of me. And really, July is almost over! The fireworks places are closed. So how many of my idiot neighbors have this shit stockpiled in their basements? Jeez.

Maybe one day soon I’ll make a post about things I like, instead of things that annoy me. I’d hate to think that I’m so bitter that I really hate everything (except high fructose corn syrup, of course). Hmm.

July 18, 2009 at 7:33 pm 1 comment

I interrupt my summer reading for a quick update…of sorts. Not really.

Sooo I was able to tear myself away from my stack of Sookie Stackhouse novels just long enough to update this thing.

But, seriously, those books are totally addictive and fun to read. It kind of ruins some characters on the show, though. (ugh, Bill. Really. What an ass he is.)

I’m thinking about doing that stupid “shrink your pouch/test it/whatever” diet that people do when they “bounce back” like 20 pounds. Uh huh. It’s bad when you look at pictures of yourself from like 6 months ago and are jealous. Of yourself. But I totally am. None of those clothes fit anymore…I’m having to dip into my “I had to wear these with a belt!” clothes, only…there are no belts involved anymore. In fact, we’ve entered back into Scary Muffintop Territory.

So I’m desperate, again. Crazy pouch-shrink-diet. I think it might cause me to murder someone (I mean, the first few days are liquids. Ohhh that will be tough.). But I really want to fit back into those freaking skinny pants.

I’m ready for summer to be over. For it to stop being like 100 degrees with no a/c in my car, which = nowhere to go.  For all the snobby/annoying rich kids around here to go back to school and stop hogging all the seats in the coffee shop/swarming the mall like bees/driving like fuckwads on their phones and making me angry.

I am SO ready for hoodie weather.

July 13, 2009 at 4:54 pm 1 comment


Griffin H. Bat was very, very fat. She had WLS in 2007 and has gone from 314 pounds to 120ish, and often wonders where her mind went along with all that gooey adipose matter. Even with new guts, she still thinks about cupcakes and their confectionary goodness. She feels like a bear that has lost its stuffing, but she won't hesitate to tell you how lovely you are.