Men are skinny bitches

June 29, 2009 at 8:51 pm 3 comments

All right, I’ve decided that it’s officially not fair that my boyfriend can eat, seriously an entire pizza in one sitting and LOSE WEIGHT.

I don’t get this. He drinks giant bottles of Dr. Pepper, Arnold Palmers, and eats entire jars of peanut butter in like 2 days. Annihilates boxes of crackers (where 1 sleeve = 1 man-serving), eats 6 slices of toast at ones, and…he loses weight. His pants are loose. He’s on the smallest notch on his belt. What a fuckhead, seriously.

I’m convinces that God either has some really awesome way of getting back at men for this in the future, or He just really likes fat women. I mean, I look at a carb. I LOOK at it. And I gain 5 pounds.

I really do believe, that, collectively, women are FAR more useful, smarter, and better than men in general. I walked past a book the other day at B&N titled something like “If Women Ran the World, Shit Would Get Done”. And it’s so true.

But still. I am angry. I should NOT be able to fit into my boyfriend’s jeans. No.

Whiny post? Yeah. But I felt like it, shit. Just, shit.

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Entry filed under: bitchery.

Time is tricky. I can justify murder if I have to

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Shira  |  July 1, 2009 at 12:00 pm

    I hate men purely for the reasons outlined above.

    Reply
  • 2. girlslashwoman  |  July 12, 2009 at 2:08 am

    Men are like garbage trucks. They eat and eat and eat and dump. Women are like garbage yards… it just accumulates.
    And it is unfair. Almost as unfair as the fact that men are ugly and smell and all women are pretty… more lies. Fine, it sucks being a woman. We have to deal with labour, body and fertility deteriorating with age, slow metabolism and a bunch of other shit. What we get in return are boobs and no penis. May seem like we got the short end of the stick- but yeah, we did get the short end of the stick.

    Reply
    • 3. Griffin H. Bat  |  July 13, 2009 at 5:00 pm

      Yes, we really did get the short end. I want to take that short end of the stick and beat up boys with it. At least we can do that…beat up boys and have them not able to hit back. But then again, that might not always work. I need firearms. haha.

      Reply

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000wp

Griffin H. Bat was very, very fat. She had WLS in 2007 and has gone from 314 pounds to 120ish, and often wonders where her mind went along with all that gooey adipose matter. Even with new guts, she still thinks about cupcakes and their confectionary goodness. She feels like a bear that has lost its stuffing, but she won't hesitate to tell you how lovely you are.


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