The seafood buffet, thine enemy.

June 4, 2009 at 2:48 pm 4 comments

Ok, so I’m going to the beach tomorrow. My dad is shooting yet another beach wedding (oh, I missthe days when beach weddings were rare, i.e. special and unique, like snowflakes. hah.)…and I decided to tag along and use this as an excuse to take a vacation.

So really this trip is bittersweet. I’m not as small as I’d like to be. I can’t just romp on the beach in a bikini, lest I frighten the children, and maybe even the tiger sharks that are apparently EVERYWHERE. And then there’s the buffets.

Oh, the buffets. I haven’t been to a buffet since surgery. For obvious reasons. But my dad insists upon hitting up all of those all-you-can-eat/bacchanal-esque seafood buffets. And I have a feeling they will laugh in my face if I’m all like “can I pay for a children’s plate, please?”. But really, I refuse to shell out (haha) like 15 bucks for a cup of seafood and veggies.

On the positive: there’s nothing nicer than the sound of the ocean outside your window.

AND. I have new hair.


And. My dog really, really likes to get all-up-in-my-face with her leash and demand that we go somewhere. So I turned her into a lolcat. Well. loldog.


She’s ridiculous.


Entry filed under: the aftermath. Tags: , .

They’re out there, somewhere… The beach, buffets, and big bikinis

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Shira  |  June 4, 2009 at 8:21 pm

    Your pomeranian is adorable.

    Oh, I know how you feel about buffets. My brother was describing one at the Bellagio hotel and I was like “I wanna go” and my friend just looks at me and goes “Um, that’s a waste”.

    But I think I’ll go to what used to be my fave restaurant, Souplantation which is all buffet (it’s call Sweet Tomatoes elsewhere, don’t know if you’ve heard of it), because Dad had a 2 for 1 coupon so I won’t have to pay $9. But I will still sneak a few pieces of cornbread home in my purse. Tradition since I was a fat kid, really. Man, I used to eat that restaurant…I ate my $9, if not more. Mainly in cornbread and honey butter. But lest I continue waxing poetic here…

    Have fun at the beach!

    (Oh, and PS? My life is SO not that exciting. I lie in bed most days, recovering from plastic surgery and its complications, and get stoned the rest. So that way at least my neuroses relax and it SEEMS more interesting)

  • 2. Griffin H. Bat  |  June 8, 2009 at 6:57 pm

    Ohhh my–cornbread and honey butter!? That sounds delicious…I’ve never heard of that restaurant, but now I must Google it and if there’s not one in at least a neighboring state, something is truly wrong with this world. But reeeally, I should have totally been using the food-in-the-purse technique all along. It’s genius. I need to line my Juicy bag with Ziplocs.

    And $9 for a buffet is cheap! Well, compared to the seafood place we ate at at the beach–it was a whopping $25 per person! I almost hit the floor when I saw that. They let me pay the child’s price, but that was still $11. And I don’t even like seafood that much. =O

    And recovering from plastics, and getting stoned, is far more exciting! (Though the complications part really, really sucks, I am so sorry). After going to the beach with my jiggle…I’m jealous. Heh.

  • 3. emily  |  June 10, 2009 at 7:32 am

    ok, your pomeranian is a freakin doll. i’m quite jealous. if dogs weren’t so expensive and stuff, i’d get one. but that’s probably not a good idea.

    and while beach weddings seem pretty cliche, at least it’s at the beach! i so agree regarding the sound of the ocean outside your window… it’s wonderful.

    • 4. Griffin H. Bat  |  June 10, 2009 at 6:50 pm

      haha, yeah, dogs are expensive. I’ll never be able to buy another “doll” of a dog. So this one needs to live, say, at least another 50 years or so.

      and ohhh, the sound of the ocean. it can’t be beat. I miss it. I would move there if it weren’t for all the hurricanes…and smelly, beer-soaked tourists. Haha.


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Griffin H. Bat was very, very fat. She had WLS in 2007 and has gone from 314 pounds to 120ish, and often wonders where her mind went along with all that gooey adipose matter. Even with new guts, she still thinks about cupcakes and their confectionary goodness. She feels like a bear that has lost its stuffing, but she won't hesitate to tell you how lovely you are.

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