Blah blah blah.

May 9, 2009 at 12:18 am 1 comment

Okay, so here’s what I think.

I think that Celexa is making me fat.

I think eating like a shithead with a bottomless pouch for carbs is also making me fat.

I think looking at pizza on other people’s plates is making me fat.

Watching the Food Network/Good Eats is making me fat.

Really. I want to sit in a sweatbox for a month and stop letting all this life crap make me gain weight. I am terrified to actually stand on the scale and look at it myself. It’s pathetic: I got my boyfriend to memorize what I weigh. I don’t want to know. I know I’ve gained probably 10-15 pounds. Which is a lot in a little time. And enough to scare me shitless. After the RNY “honeymoon” is over…we’re on our own. I’m catching myself. I refuse to buy bigger sizes. I swore I would never have to buy a bigger size, ever. But right now I’m having muffin-tops that rival those giant ones at Costco.

I’m so over this pity party, almost. I was supposed to go to see Death Cab this week and I ended up having panic attacks and sleeping in bed instead. My childhood dog had to be put to sleep yesterday. None of my cute clothes fit. Wah, wah, wah. Life.

I’m just ready to live again. I want something to make me laugh. I should probably stop watching Six Feet Under so much.

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Entry filed under: bitchery, regain is lame. Tags: , , , .

I <3 the library, but not this movie. They’re out there, somewhere…

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. girlslashwoman  |  May 11, 2009 at 1:53 am

    Ugh I hate the slow realization that you’re gaining weight. The clothes that don’t fit. Muffin tops that would look better on a plate (or better, in the garbage).
    I’m sorry about your dog 😦

    Reply

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000wp

Griffin H. Bat was very, very fat. She had WLS in 2007 and has gone from 314 pounds to 120ish, and often wonders where her mind went along with all that gooey adipose matter. Even with new guts, she still thinks about cupcakes and their confectionary goodness. She feels like a bear that has lost its stuffing, but she won't hesitate to tell you how lovely you are.


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