Snow & self-diagnosis.

March 1, 2009 at 10:23 pm 4 comments

I’m actually kind of surprised that I haven’t stepped on the scale in…probably a month. Which is bad. And good? I know I shouldn’t obsess, but I should remain at least somewhat  accountable. But lately I haven’t been eating my planned meals–because I start to feel like a dog eating the same things at the same time of day. So now? I’m testing the waters of “normal”.

Note that I don’t think “normal” is chocolate and chips. Do I eat those things sometimes? Well, yeah. I’m human. As long as I can still comfortably wear my jeans, right now I have other fish to fry.

Like my brain. My brain is fried. Or, rather, it feels like someone has taken a big swirly stick, stuck it in my head, and swirled it around like they’re stirring cake batter. I’m having fits of, well, less-than-sanity, we’ll say. I’m just really thinking that my psychologist appointment is coming at a good time.

I know, know, know I’m not supposed to “self-diagnose”, but the more I read up on BPD, the more it sounds like me, exactly. I could be way off, but the DSM-IV criteria seems to hit the nail on the head. Hmmm.

Oh, and I don’t think it’s snowed here in…years? long enough to actually “stick”. Today I woke up and there was snow! A rare find. I’m sure the bread and the milk are all nowhere to be found on the local grocery shelves (a mystery I will never solve).

snow-0101

snow-0121

snow-0042

A chance to wear my favorite scarf. It’s all warm and stuff. But not to fear. The snow was gone, without a trace, a couple of hours after this. And later this week, I’ll get to wear my slouchy t-shirts again. Hooray. Winter in Alabama is fucking weird.

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Entry filed under: fixing my brain. Tags: , , , .

iPod #3 The shrinking of my head.

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. girlslashwoman  |  March 2, 2009 at 11:34 pm

    It’s so pretty! I love fresh snow. It’s just when you’re on the 10th day of frozen ice and your car decides enough is enough when I realize that living in Canada is actually shit.
    You look so cute though and that scarf is adorable.

    Reply
    • 2. Griffin H. Bat  |  March 5, 2009 at 8:39 pm

      Thanks. =P And fresh snow *is* pretty! Though I can definitely see where a whole lot of snow/ice/general slipperyslopery would be insanely annoying. And my car would not last more than 2 minutes in a serious snow situation. Heh.

      Reply
  • 3. Tiptoe  |  March 6, 2009 at 10:04 pm

    I heard about the snow in AL! 😀

    Be careful about self-diagnosing. That can drive you insane. Did you mention this to the psych?

    Reply
  • 4. Griffin H. Bat  |  March 10, 2009 at 11:00 pm

    tiptoe: the snow was crazy! And today? It was 82 degrees out. Just weird.

    And self-diagnosing…it’s a fine line to be crossed, for sure. I mentioned it to my therapist and she took it into consideration. I’m being careful not to be all like “Hey, I’m ___, and nothing else, fix it!” Oh, I’m just glad I don’t own my own copy of the DSM. I’d probably have the whole book earmarked.

    Reply

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000wp

Griffin H. Bat was very, very fat. She had WLS in 2007 and has gone from 314 pounds to 120ish, and often wonders where her mind went along with all that gooey adipose matter. Even with new guts, she still thinks about cupcakes and their confectionary goodness. She feels like a bear that has lost its stuffing, but she won't hesitate to tell you how lovely you are.


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