Oh, and…

February 19, 2009 at 8:40 pm 4 comments

I finally found a psychologist that will take me on. I was thinking about this all day, how when I was a teenager my mother forced  me to go to therapy, and I played mind games with them/didn’t tell them the truth, ever.  I didn’t have any problems! (I totally did, but didn’t want to get better. And we all know that it doesn’t work unless you want it to.) I didn’t realize then that not only was that stupid, but a HUGE waste of money.

Seriously, having any kind of mental problem is expensive. That’s one reason I’ve put off going for so long. That’s also why I really tell people in a super-duper-not-covered-in-roses way that, seriously, WLS fucks with your head, even if it was on straight before that. Taking care of your body comes first, but, sadly, the brain is all alone up there trying to make sense of everything. It’s lost in a sea of sudden body changes, dress sizes, hormones a-flyin’, and general fucked-uppery.

This post makes no sense. But my main point: therapy. In a few weeks. I’m not looking forward to spilling my guts, but, I won’t waste my time there like I did when I was younger. I know they’re going to ask me if I’ve been “diagnosed” before…and honestly? I think I was? But they never told me with what exactly. I have a few ideas. I’ve taken too many science classes and looked into the DSM far too many times to not  try and self-diagnose myself. It’s bad, I know.

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Entry filed under: fixing my brain. Tags: , , , .

I need new hair. iPod #3

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. secretshadows  |  February 20, 2009 at 11:00 am

    I wish you luck. Therapy is hard work, but well worth it because you are well worth it.

    I can imagine it is a huge (pardon the expression) “mindfuck” after such rapid weight loss. It often takes the mind quite awhile to adjust to body changes. Mine is still coming to grips with the fact that we are NOT the 110-120 body we used to be. Quite the opposite, although we have had 4 children, so that’s just reality, you know?

    Secret Shadows

    Reply
    • 2. Griffin H. Bat  |  February 22, 2009 at 2:33 am

      Secret Shadows: you’re so right; and I wish people would prepare more pre-ops with the knowledge that the brain does not catch up with the body…maybe some doctors do that these days, but mine didn’t. They just call you a “success” and send you on your merry way after they’ve cashed the check. Irritating! Mental health, in general, I believe totally flies under the radar.

      Reply
  • 3. Tiptoe  |  February 20, 2009 at 6:55 pm

    Yeah to finding a psychologist. I’ve gone through the same run about before where I really didn’t want to get better but was only appeasing my parental units.

    Sometimes, I think when we are seeking it ourselves, there is more at stake (like our own money), and we are more compliant, we can have a better outcome.

    My general rule of thumb is three sessions to see the T. and I will click. My best advice to you is to be open and honest. And as my good friend says, “what have you got to lose?” (okay, maybe some money but it might be worth it too)

    Much luck!

    Reply
    • 4. Griffin H. Bat  |  February 22, 2009 at 2:38 am

      tiptoe: you’re totally right! When we seek it out for ourselves…we’ll definitely get more out of it. I feel so bad now that I’ve realized how much money my parents spent on my therapy when I was a teenager. But I truly believe that a person can’t be forced into recovery, you know? We have to want it.
      And I’m hoping it won’t take many sessions to “click”! Thank you for the luck thrown my way. =)

      Reply

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000wp

Griffin H. Bat was very, very fat. She had WLS in 2007 and has gone from 314 pounds to 120ish, and often wonders where her mind went along with all that gooey adipose matter. Even with new guts, she still thinks about cupcakes and their confectionary goodness. She feels like a bear that has lost its stuffing, but she won't hesitate to tell you how lovely you are.


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