My head needs a vacation.

February 12, 2009 at 9:08 pm 3 comments

Finally, I can breathe. The first week of training is over. Yay! Bad news? I have to start again next week. On different units. So that whole assuming-I’ll-be-working-on-one-floor thing is a big joke. So far I’ve trained in the burn unit, the neuro unit, and today I did the psych ward. It’s a lot of information/procedures to memorize for a part time job. But…for now I’m looking forward to giving my brain a rest, because next week I’m going to totally different places, again!

Oh, and in a month I’m expected to be doing this all alone, holy crap that’s a lot of responsibility. But, yeah, brain–rest.

To be more on topic with this blog, I went to a support group meeting the other day–the one that my surgeon’s office has for pre and post-bariatric patients. I’ve found that as time trudges along, I’m one of the few post-ops that sticks around…most of the other people there has surgery in the past few months or haven’t had it yet. So it made me feel old, yet still the youngest person in the room. Which saddens me. I know there are other 20-somethings that had surgery there. Where did they go??

I’ll admit, I’ve been too busy to go to the last few meetings. But every time I do go I feel more, I guess, disconnected from these people. Early out I would go to the meetings and see these “skinny”, “successful” people there and be wildly jealous, hoping that I would lose as much as they did, etc., and that when I did, I would return and be happy and proud to show off my hard work. But really? It doesn’t matter any more. I’m “thin”. La-de-dah. Don’t get me wrong: the attention is nice. But…it’s strange to have all these pre-ops looking you over like you’re on display. The whole night I felt like I was being analyzed.

But my main point: I went to the meeting, mostly because the guest-speaker was the psychologist that does all of the pre-surgery screenings for my particular doctor. I was hoping he would shed some light on possible post-op head issues. But he didn’t. It was all about “head hunger” and how to deal with it. Well…that’s fine and dandy for people who are pre-op or newly post-op and getting used to the loss of “normal” eating. But what about those of us who are in the “I’m totally lost in my head” point after 1+ years? I was sad that he didn’t even touch on that.

But really, what it boils down to is that I need to see someone, because my head is in this weird place. I’m just kind of bothered that these psychologists only want to deal with people beforethey have surgery and not help them out further down the road. Like WLS fixes you right up and you’re good to roll for the rest of your life. Um, no. So I’m trying to find someone that is familiar enough with WLS to actually “get” my particular brand of crazy, but not someone that thinks all my problems stem from head hunger/mourning the loss of food. Maybe I’m hoping for too much. But therapy is expensive.


Entry filed under: bitchery. Tags: , , .

Hospitals are complicated and stuff. They can’t help my iPod. Can you OD on chocolate? Is there a poison control number for that?

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Tiptoe  |  February 14, 2009 at 8:36 pm

    Yeah for getting through the first week of training! Any new job, there is a lot to learn. Hang in there, it’ll get easier. Just think, you can have some great stories to tell too!

    As for the seeing someone, I think it is a good idea for you. I agree with you that too many of the Drs. focus too much on pre-op and not on post-op for WLS patients which only places a huge disservice. Is there any way you can see about getting a referral? Maybe your Dr. would know someone?

    • 2. Griffin H. Bat  |  February 18, 2009 at 5:31 pm

      Tiptoe: thank you for the comments. I did, finally!, find someone to make an appointment with.

  • […] Hallelujah!  I knew this  meeting was geared towards post-ops, for once (last month I was sorely disappointedwhen the psychologist that came to speak to the group mainly focused on pre-op/new-op issues). So I […]


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Griffin H. Bat was very, very fat. She had WLS in 2007 and has gone from 314 pounds to 120ish, and often wonders where her mind went along with all that gooey adipose matter. Even with new guts, she still thinks about cupcakes and their confectionary goodness. She feels like a bear that has lost its stuffing, but she won't hesitate to tell you how lovely you are.

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