I just never learn.

December 9, 2008 at 10:25 pm 2 comments

It’s headed towards the middle of December and my air conditioner is on. Full blast. I know it’s Alabama, but, come on. Short sleeves shouldn’t even be an option at this point. I know I shouldn’t complain. Somewhere out there, someone is shoveling out a parking spot…poor things.

I know it was like, what, over a week ago, but Thanksgiving was interesting (some people didn’t even notice that I’d lost ~200lbs, but hey, I don’t like them anyway, the jerkheads). I made my pie, people ate it. Really. And they liked it. My grandmother made a german chocolate cake, holycrap. I had to eat some. I had to. And it didn’t make me dump. Kind of funny, considering the things that do.

Case in point: today, I bought some salami and cheese from the deli at Target. I ate it, with crackers and grapes. I knew the slippery grease factor of the salami wasn’t very good, but, I ate it anyway, because I’m smart. And? One hour later, I sat in a miserable shaky lump on the sofa, sweating through my sweater.

Fabulous.

I have no idea why I do this to myself. To feel normal? Sometimes I just. want. to. eat. like a human being! Fuck the rules. Then I say to myself “that sucked, let’s not every do that again!” But of course, I do it again. Maybe it’s due partially to the whole “well, I ate REAL cake at Thanksgiving and I was just dandy after that!”. My body lulls me into this false sense of security.

I’ve seriously realized, RNY is like going to school. It’s a lifelong learning experience. You can play by the rules all you want, think that you know your body and how it reacts, and then the rug gets pulled from beneath you. Surprise! This food makes you puke today, but yesterday it was fine.

I learn something new every day. Mostly I’m learning that I’m kind of a dummy, and I should probably learn some kind of strict self-discipline, like Ben Stiller’s character on Dodgeball.

~ google image search

~ google image search

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Entry filed under: Uncategorized. Tags: .

It’s no chocolate cake… Because I really feel like writing about dessert.

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Tiptoe  |  December 11, 2008 at 10:55 pm

    I know I’ve had experiences where I wondered why the heck did I do that. I just should have known better.

    Sometimes, I don’t know, I think if we keep living our lives like that, we’re going to miss out on opportunities and fun and just general life whether it to be normal or not.

    Reply
  • 2. Griffin H. Bat  |  December 12, 2008 at 3:02 am

    Tiptoe: I guess that’s what life is all about, making mistakes and then feeling totally spazzy and wondering why in the world we did it. Sometimes I have to laugh, because in a year I won’t even remember doing it, I’ll just remember the times I let go and just went through a situation like everyone else. If that makes sense. =)

    Reply

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000wp

Griffin H. Bat was very, very fat. She had WLS in 2007 and has gone from 314 pounds to 120ish, and often wonders where her mind went along with all that gooey adipose matter. Even with new guts, she still thinks about cupcakes and their confectionary goodness. She feels like a bear that has lost its stuffing, but she won't hesitate to tell you how lovely you are.


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