Oh yeah. Every day is a parade.

October 7, 2008 at 6:12 pm Leave a comment

It’s days like yesterday that make me want to backhand people that tell me I took the easy way outby having WLS. I mean, seriously, people, this isn’t sunshine and rainbows; this is scary shitsometimes. I didn’t know the meaning of the word “dizzy” before surgery, and now I might as well change my name to Griffin McDizzyface.

But, yesterday.

I did something really stupid. Something that shows that, Yes, I’m still human after gastric bypass. This is not easy. Sometimes, we slip. Every now and then I want a piece of cake! And it’ll be OK! Because it’s Reduced Sugar Cake! So, let’s eat it for lunch! Okay!

So, I did. For lunch. I ate a piece of reduced sugar cake. And? Nothing else. Two hours later (a little slow on the uptake, I’ll admit), a big flash of light blurred my vision. And when I closed my eyes it didn’t go away. After a minute, it passed. And then, I felt the need to just…fall over. And I started shaking. And sweating through my clothes. Sweat rolling down my face. I felt like death warmed over, bathing in a pool of cold sweat.

I have NO idea what it was exactly. I mean, yeah, I KNOW it was because I ate cake for a meal that had sugar alcohol in it; but normally? The stuff doesn’t phase me. It was stupidity on my part, not eating something “solid” with a TINY piece of cake until the urge passed. I know it was my fault. But I am human, like I said. And humans are prone to error. Doesn’t make it any less scary.

Sometimes it’s just a little aggravating, because people that are on diets…they can eat a piece of cake or whatever and then feel the guilt and move on. Me? I feel like I’m dying. It puts me out for the rest of the day, well into the next.

So, yes. The easy way out. I can eat cake and still be thin! How easy. Now, I’m going to go take a nap because my sugar levels are so effed, and my head feels like it’s been opened up and swirled around with a stick.

It’s so easy that, here I am, 14 months out, still learning new ways of being a screw-up who needs to follow the rules to a T without serious regret.

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The future…and stuff I’ve been in the corner, eating my childish snack foods.

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000wp

Griffin H. Bat was very, very fat. She had WLS in 2007 and has gone from 314 pounds to 120ish, and often wonders where her mind went along with all that gooey adipose matter. Even with new guts, she still thinks about cupcakes and their confectionary goodness. She feels like a bear that has lost its stuffing, but she won't hesitate to tell you how lovely you are.


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