The future…and stuff

October 5, 2008 at 2:00 am 1 comment

I spent my whole life putting things off, and not taking any risks, because, hey, life will be so much better when I am thin! I played everything safe, always being sure to tiptoe around the pool of life and never just jump IN. Living was for everyone else. I don’t know why. I had no confidence, I guess. I didn’t think I could survive if I, say, moved out of my comfort zone. Like moving away for college. I couldn’t imagine huffing and puffing my way in and out of an out of town classroom desk! That would just be outrageous.

I always plannedon doing major things. One day, I’ll move to Boston. One day, I’ll go to that fancy liberal arts college. One day I’ll write a book. One day, I’ll be thin. In the back of my mind, I guess I never thought any of these things would really happen. I never thought I had the guts to plunge into the deep end and just DO any of these things. I was used to trying and failing, always. Endless loops of diets gone wrong. And then? I learned about weight loss surgery. I researched. And then? I thought about it for a couple of years. I got over it. And then? I got bigger. And bigger. And then I just DID it. (Well, after 7 months of supervised dr.’s diets and hoop-jumping, I did it. Hah.)

So, my point is…I surprised myself; I did something Life-Changing. It didn’t shatter the world. I realized that “one day” wasn’t going to get any closer unless I did something about it. And now? I’m facing another possible “one day” situation: moving across the country.

I’m totally obsessed with Boston. I feel something completely foreign and wonderful every time I visit. It’s like going Home. I thought for a while that maybe it was just the magic of being in a new, big city, but then I visited San Francisco…and hated it. So it wasn’t that I easily fall in love with big cities. Boston is magic. The smells, the sites, the shopping…Oh, the shopping.

I am learning to actually make plans for my life instead of plan on planning one day. It’s absurdly scary. But I’m tired of this place. My apartment lease runs out in December, and I’ve been looking at other apartments in the area…and am just not impressed. And then I thought: why stick around to live in another mediocre apartment in a shitty city, when I can finally just move to Boston, like I always dreamed?

Well, this could all be wishful thinking, but my boyfriend could possibly be getting a promotion at his job (Whole Foods) and might be able to transfer to a store in Boston. Other things are coming together…and I think it’s time to take the plunge.

If I do move, I will totally miss lazy Southern days like this one, though; breezy days with my doggy on my parents’ porch:

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Naps and follow-ups Oh yeah. Every day is a parade.

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Tiptoe  |  October 25, 2008 at 10:37 pm

    I’ve always wanted one of those life changing moments where I move somewhere and feel completely at “home.” It sounds like Boston may be it for you. You can always go and try it out. And if it doesn’t work out, you can come back.

    For the record, I’ve known people who went to live in Boston and loved it. Just make sure you do research in terms of cost of living, because it is higher than one might expect.

    Reply

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Griffin H. Bat was very, very fat. She had WLS in 2007 and has gone from 314 pounds to 120ish, and often wonders where her mind went along with all that gooey adipose matter. Even with new guts, she still thinks about cupcakes and their confectionary goodness. She feels like a bear that has lost its stuffing, but she won't hesitate to tell you how lovely you are.


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