WLS as a secret…sometimes

September 21, 2008 at 11:22 pm 1 comment

Before I had surgery, I had these sort of “big ideas” of how cool it would be once I’d lost all my weight and got to see people that hadn’t seen me since I was a Before picture. How wonderful, to be suddenly thin! In front of people that thought they were better than me! (snort)

Well, one of those people was my sister. I have only seen her a handful of times since she moved to California 6 years ago. I’m not profoundly fond of her. She, like me, struggled with her weight all her life, but she managed to lose most of it when she was in high school. So she was the Skinny One, and made sure I stayed in my Fat Sister category. Last time I saw her was Christmas of last year, when I still weighed close to 200 pounds. She told me I looked great and was very supportive. But she doesn’t know I had weight loss surgery.

Funny, right? I’ll tell perfect strangers that I’ve had WLS, but not my own sister. Why? It’s complicated. We’re not that close. She’s the type of person that will judge me for having surgery, for “taking the easy way out”.  Just diet and exercise and poof! Problem solved. She’s maintained a size 8ish for several years now. How? She relies on diet pills, cigarettes, and treadmills. Success!

With a lot of people, I won’t tell them how I lost weight. It’s a personal choice. But, like I said, I’ll tell strangers. I mean, I blog about it! But it gets old, hearing those wonderful cautionary tales of So-and-So who knew someone who knew someone who’s mom had gastric bypass and then their brains exploded! Just like that! Death! Mayhem! It’s tiring. But it’s easy to say “Oh, well, whatever” to strangers than it is to tell my “secret” to someone I’m related to. Someone I have to be around. It creates this cloud of judgment and awkwardness that never really goes away.

And, you know what? Simply saying I’m on a low-calorie, high-protein diet is not a lie.

But the whole idea of suddenly being “thin” in front of people I rarely see, well, it’s overrated. And kind of creepy. Because I’ve realized that people have 10,000 questions. And they stare at you like this strange little creature that just peed on the carpet. I don’t know. This is why I like meeting new people who didn’t know me from Before, people that don’t have to “get used” to being around someone that’s completely different.

Oh well. On a lighter note, I had a lovely weekend spent visiting my parents and my awesome dog, who can’t live with me until I move into a more pet-friendly apartment:

You’ll see a lot of her in the future. She enjoys hogging the good spot in front of the a/c and barking whenever anyone walks into the room. I think it’s her way of saying “You’re very pretty, now give me things.”


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Food-Porn Friday Another favorite product: Soy Rocks bars

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Tiptoe  |  September 25, 2008 at 11:30 pm

    I can understand telling complete strangers things you would not tell your closest relative or friend. There is a sense of lack of judgment. This is one reason why Postsecret is so popular right now.

    I know for me, much more of the internet knows about my trials and tribulations with eating disorders than friends in high school, college, people I worked with, etc. The complications just don’t seem there so much with people online versus those we know in person. Granted, I have met some of my online friends in person, and for the ones closest to me, our relationship didn’t change.

    As for people knowing you now versus before, I think there is the element that there isn’t any comparison. You’re you as you are now, not what you were. Either of these can be positive or negative, just depends.

    On a side note, you have an adorable pom! I’m sure she can get in trouble 😉


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Griffin H. Bat was very, very fat. She had WLS in 2007 and has gone from 314 pounds to 120ish, and often wonders where her mind went along with all that gooey adipose matter. Even with new guts, she still thinks about cupcakes and their confectionary goodness. She feels like a bear that has lost its stuffing, but she won't hesitate to tell you how lovely you are.

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