They’re out there, somewhere…

Summer, ohhh summer, it is here. It is hot as hell. The a/c in my car doesn’t work. Hooray!

Instead of toning up for a “summer/beach figure”, I’ve fluffed up a bit. Yup. My guess is I’ve gained like 15 pounds. Everyone says I’ve “settled” where I need to be. And you know what? Fuck that. Because I am not comfortable here.

So what do I do? I don’t know. This is the point, post-op, where there are no more answers. You get so far out that no one can help you anymore. You’re supposed to know everything. Like graduating from college. Here’s your diploma! Now, go away. I’m getting the feeling that I will never know how to be an A+ WLS patient. My head is still in fat land. I still have the urge to eat like everyone else and/or eat like a total moron more than I should.

Soo here we are. I did the Last Diet Ever. I can/will never diet again, sure. But the way we have to eat is like a diet. I’m still trying to find my way around in the dark. And right now I feel really alone. To complain/sound whiny/bitch and moan. But I’m 2 years out and don’t know anyone else out there who is where I am, or close to my age, or whatever. I know they’re out there.

Where, though? obesityhelp.com is kind of dead now. At least, I don’t really relate to anyone there anymore. Is it too much to ask to find people my age who are past the whole “omg this is amaaazing I’m losing 10 pounds a week!” stage? I dunno.

Oh well. Other news? I’m going to the beach next week. Looking forward to it, yes. Even though I turn red like a lobster EVERY single time I go, no matter how much spf 75 I roll around in. But it’s my first “not hugely fat” trip. So it should be interesting. I might make the children cry with my batwings and legjiggle and such. But who cares? It’s my vacation. And I have a cute suit.